Have you noticed how frequently people use the word anxious when they mean eager?
“I finally got the promotion! I’m anxious to get started in the new job.”
“I’m anxious to meet your friend. He sounds amazing!”
She anxiously awaited her turn at the table where her favorite author would sign her book.
In each case, it’s the wrong word. If you can substitute excited, then eager is what you’re looking for.
The thing is, one can be both anxious and eager at the same time. When I pushed the Publish button to submit my debut novel this week, I absolutely felt both emotions. Anxious? Of course! I’ve never written a novel before and I’m anxious about its reception. Eager? Very much so—I’ve never written a novel before and I’m eager to see how it’s received.
Cognitive dissonance, anyone?
Words matter, and I know I’ve responded incorrectly when I’ve heard someone use the wrong word and I’ve assumed it was the right one. For instance, in the first example above, I would have asked, “What makes you feel anxious? You know you’re perfect for this role!” To which my friend might answer, “I know! Isn’t it exciting?”
That leaves me either scratching my head or getting all uppity about correct word use. If I’m feeling particularly superior, I might choose to say something snarky like, “Oh, you mean you’re eager to start the job.”
And now I’m down one friend.
So because words do matter, I have to decide to either a) ignore the incorrect word and just congratulate my friend or b) insist on being right…and obnoxious. Not much of a choice is it?
We face this dilemma regularly: Should we be technically correct or gracious? We have to decide what words are most important—the ones that educate and irritate or the ones that soothe and ignore. Yet the even greater question is far more profound.
How will we wield our words?
If someone uses an incorrect word and it has serious implications if they use it elsewhere (like making her look foolish in front of a supervisor) then it might be wiser to gently correct the user. If, however, it’s relatively benign (like anxious instead of eager), then perhaps discretion is the better part of valor. Words are far too easily brandished like swords. Let’s think long and hard before we start swinging away.
In the meantime, I’ll keep being both anxious and eager as I await my book launch. If you’d like to check out Bread Pudding in Barcelona, follow me here, on my website, or on Instagram for the latest on the release, the book signing event, and the #breadpuddingmyway contest.
Here’s to sheathed swords.
You may be both anxious and eager for BPiB to become a hit, but we're just EAGER! We KNOW it will be a block buster success!
Cindy, thank you for this simple, yet important note on the importance of the words. I personally never use some words, since I do not believe in those concepts and do not want to talk them into existence. It is a powerful mindset. Greetings from Vilnius.