I miss my mom.
She told me all the time, “You can do anything” and I believed her.
Carole Sue Florence Villanueva died from chronic lymphocytic leukemia in 2011, just six days before I turned 50, nine days after she turned 72. She was diagnosed with cancer in 2001 and given four years to live.
I’ll be forever grateful we got ten.
Recently, my son Alex and I both needed new headshots—he for his therapeutic massage website and flyers, and me for my new book. We decided to save some money and scheduled a joint appointment, using a fabulous photographer in Austin (shout out to Photography by Brenda & Jabari).
When we got a link to the photos a few days later, I glanced over mine but, being a mom, went straight to Alex’s. They were wonderful, but one in particular caught my eye. It was quintessentially Alex: quirky, joyful, and authentic. Smiling, I moved my mouse over the download button and thought, “I’m gonna send this to my mom. She will absolutely love it.”
Did I mention she died in 2011? Yet sharing the experience with her is still my go-to reaction when something special occurs.
You can do anything, she told me. Almost 13 years later, her words still buoy my soul, even when the memory is bittersweet.
As I’ve repeatedly noted in previous posts, we don’t just use words—we wield them. They can uplift or tear down, inspire or denigrate. My mom’s words were goads to excellence, fueling me with confidence and motivation. Would I be testing for my next level of black belt or launching a novel without her words rattling around in my head? Probably not.
Often, we believe in ourselves only grudgingly. Yet if we’ve been buttressed with words of encouragement and faith—I believe in you—we can surmount the most difficult challenges and overcome our reticence to live wholeheartedly.
Because words matter, we draw strength and life from the good ones. Conversely, we are depleted and diminished from those that are unkind…or worse. And what we receive, we often disperse.
When was the last time you gave the gift of a good word? When have you told someone, “You can do anything” or “I believe in you”? When have you emboldened someone to ferociously pursue life simply by verbally investing in their emotional bank account?
In the Bible, the book of Acts records the apostle Peter speaking with a man who couldn’t walk. “But Peter said, ‘I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene—walk!’ And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were strengthened” (Acts 3:6-7, New American Standard Bible). Even when we have nothing tangible to give, we always have words. Ours may not convey miraculous healing, but they are powerful nevertheless.
My mom’s words birthed abilities in me that continue to find expression even at my age. I followed her example and have taken those deposits and multiplied them, speaking words of belief and encouragement to my children. I do my best to speak life into the hearts of friends, family, students, and colleagues. It doesn’t cost me a dime to say something uplifting, yet the yield is immeasurable.
Never underestimate your ability to wreak massive change in someone’s life by saying something kind.
Won’t you take a moment today to wield your words for encouragement and joy? Where can you make a priceless investment in another person?
You can do it. I believe in you.
This is so special Cindy. Your mother created a shoot that does encourage and sustain others
You honor her just by being you.
Cindy, such wise and wonderful words here - "It doesn’t cost me a dime to say something uplifting, yet the yield is immeasurable."
And of course I love that you've chosen a photo of you and your mom in Ireland!